I woke up and looked at my alarm: 3:55. In order not to wake up my roommate, Deacon Mark, I thought I'd turn off my alarm and get up 5 min early. As I left the hotel to go down to the Holy Sepulcher there were people all around and fireworks were going off. Man, some party, 4 hours of fireworks is a long time. Glad I slept through them all night in the hotel - good windows make a huge difference! Seeing people all over the place makes me feel odd, at this hour its usually just me. So I look at my watch: 12:30. 12:30? Stupid watch dying on me. So I ask a guy nearby, what time do you have? 12:30. How in the...I am an idiot. My alarm did not say 3:55, but 23:55. My clock is on 24 hr time. I have to laugh at myself. But, as providence would have it, this particular night the Holy Sepulcher is open all night long due to an Orthodox feast - perhaps the only time I could ever have the opportunity to have somewhere to go at this hour, so You have me now Lord, do with me whatever You will. Happy New Year!
Calvary -
After an hour and a half of just sitting there trying to be present and attentive to receiving whatever You wish to give me - I believe You have some good in this silly error of mine, I started to get sleepy. Prayed all the mysteries of the rosary with Tuckerman and Kuhlman, reflecting on Your life, death and resurrection. I find it difficult to pray, Lord, accept my humble offering. Stir up the intensity of my love O Holy Spirit.
Intentions - I prayed for intentions here today, for Your will to be done in our lives, that we would abandon ourselves to Your will.
Jesus, I believe in You. Help me not to be afraid of Your silence. Open my ears that I may hear. It is chilly now and I am cold. I need to move around. I go down to the Armenian chapel, it is warmer there and I can move around since no one is there - except a cat. Morning prayer. Prayed in the Franciscan chapel, reflecting on the Light of Christ. A kind Franciscan helped me to set the missal early and pray in the sacristy before a painting of Mary Magdelene meeting Jesus (my patroness for this pilgrimage); sorrowful and not fully understanding she makes an act of love by going to the Tomb that morning - and encounters the Risen Christ, her Living Lord.
Tomb -
I am ridiculously blessed. I get to celebrate Mass in the Tomb again. My Mass intentions for today are for Aaron Rose and the conversion of my family. Fr. Hurley, Fr. Gaffney, Deacon Mark, Tuckerman, Kuhlman, Deacon Doke, and 3 other pilgrims came to Mass as we celebrate the Solemnity of Mary Mother of God. Thank You for loving me. I love You. Peace and joy to pray the Mass, especially in this place. Mary my mother, teach me to ponder with you. Thank you Jesus for waking me up early. Thank You for Your silence. Mary Magdelene, pray that I too may encounter the grace of this place, to soak it in. Below is my homily in full:
Mary, when she saw the angel, responded with fear, wondering and acquiescence, and so became the Mother of God. The Light of Christ has come into the world. How might we see differently, who have encountered in the Light of Christ, our God who would not come down from the Cross to save Himself and Who leaves us with the silence of this empty Tomb.
Breakfast...mmm. Pray at Notre Dame reading John. Martha believed before she saw Lazarus rise. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. I believe that You are God, that You love me, that You can do all things. Come and see and believe; come to believe and see.
Franciscan Chapel -
we all gather together to pray here together. Fr. Hurley - If you are at a place on the verge of nothing exiting, then you are right where Jesus wishes you to be. John was at just another place, just another man except He was beloved. Have faith.
Wailing Wall -
prayed day prayer with Lebsock: Psalms at the Temple wall. Psalm 121 "Where shall my help come from...from the Lord". Psalm 122 "Within your gates O Jerusalem".
Peter in Gallicantu -
Where the prison cell of Jesus was. Read Psalm 88.
Cenaculum -
The upper Room of the Last Supper and Pentecost. Pausing to pray for intentions here, humbled by some of the requests and those that asked me to pray for myself here, especially that Mary might lead us all into deeper union with the Holy Spirit as she did with the Apostles on Pentecost.
Walked back with Tuckerman along the outside wall, now I'm toasted. I've been up for close to 36 hrs with only a 2 hr "nights sleep". I feel good though otherwise, praying for about 10 of the last 12 hours. Thank You for waking me up Jesus.
Notre Dame -
It would be tempting to start thinking about emails, exams, thesis, other places I get to go, people I get to see, other things I have to do, but I am here. What is more, I desire to be here now and not miss the grace of this place. Come Lord Jesus. What did I learn today? Priests need to keep vigil. They need to sit before the mystery in silence. The interior life is not negotiable and often Jesus will change our plans to be with us. And that is the way we must go, even when God is silent there.
Fr. Hurley - be attentive, give an ear to these "11th hour" graces (our pilgrimage is nearing its end).
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| The square and entrance to the Holy Sepulcher |
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