a happy mistake. i awoke and looking at my clock, thought it the alarm didn't go off and i was an hour late. bustling to get ready i realized as i rushed out my door only to realize it was only 5am. so no i have to sit by the sea of galilee all by myself. thank you Jesus.
it is black, calm, quiet and clear. i feel my way around to find a spot on the rocks. Jesus, did You perhaps rise early too and come sit by the lake? could i be sitting where You sat? thank You for letting me sit with You in this special place of encounter and friendship. in the dark every now and then a fish jumps, a gentle rain falls and its getting cooler. the birds begin to wake and chirp in the sky. as a pale orange light comes across the lake and the backs of clouds blush red with the coming of the sun i pray office and morning prayer. my spirit livens as i pray the psalms with the sunrise. blue sky appears and the far shore becomes hazy with light. the red is gone and the golden sun makes the clouds silver bright as it peaks its head over the hill tops, too bright to look at. and so the day begins.
Mensa Christi -
this is where Jesus cooked fish after His resurrection and said "Peter, do you love me?..." where the apostles went back to being fisherman and caught nothing. i was not paying attention to where i was and the huge rock struck me as i approached it in the chapel and here the question put to me, "Matthew, do you love me?" do i leap into the water as soon as i recognize You, forgetting all else, counting it as loss? so often i hang on to my own plans, restricting You to them rather that submitting them to You. "Lord, You know all things, You know that i love You" in my heart i desire to be all Yours...but i think of my failures, selfishness, my weak love, when i choose my will over Yours or when i have ignored You or... but that is not the question You ask. You want to know if i love You more than these, twice more You draw me back "Do you love ME?" Me. "I am what you want, will you forget the rest, let go of those distracting/disorienting questions and love Me?" Lord, You know everything going on inside of me, everything about me and still You love and seek me, You love me, yes Lord, i love You.
this is where i prayed for intentions today, where Jesus restores us in love. where we come to recognize and receive His love for us and confess now our love for Him.
Capernaum-
we read John 6 in the synagogue where Jesus spoke these words. the is Jesus' "own city", where He lived, where Peter lived, where He healed the centurion's servant, where He called Matthew. its all so close. this is where many disciples left Him after His "hard saying" Matthew stayed with Him. God has invited us to pass through His own home, so much to take in. temptation to come to a conclusion, to grasp a grace, to rush through to get to the end. "follow Me. and he got up and followed Him."
Tabgha-
this is the "lonely place" Jesus used to go when He wanted to pray, where he fed the 5,000.
Eremos cave-
where Jesus would go to for shelter when he "prayed on the mountain all night" you can see the whole lake from here. He could have seen the fishermen who He would call to be among the Twelve.
Peter's Waterfall-
the spot where it is believed Jesus called Peter, Andrew, James, and John to follow Him. i enjoyed skipping around on the rocks like a little kid, not falling into the water. here it was good to pray a rosary, to ponder over the events of Jesus' life with Mary. i must not forget that.
in the background all the day was the thought that it was not that i wanted to come or that i had enough money to come; i am here now because Jesus wants me here, to know and encounter Him in a new way in our relationship. He is my friend Who invites me to His home. it was a busy and full day, a blurr. my heart was still at Mensa Chrisiti...
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