11 February 2013 - Our Lady of Lourdes
As I was finishing my first class day of my last semester, the Pope said this (video):
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-21411304
The President of the JP2 Institute, Mons. Livio Melina, came in and announced to us that Pope Benedict XVI had just abrogated his office effective 28 Feb 2013. We were stunned. Through his tears he told us that this is a time of silence, a time not to have many talks and chats, but a time to pray. He asked each of us to offer all our work and our study for the Pope and the Church. We need to pray and work hard.
Fr. Strand and I went to the Pope's Cathedral, St. John Lateran, where we study. We knelt and prayed before the chair, asking for the guidance of the Holy Spirit, praying for the good of the Pope and the Church. I don't understand this very well.
We walked to St. Peter's, to pray in the square. Maybe its like it was when Blessed John XXIII announced Vatican II http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBNEEjwCQyc (3:16 and following). We were quiet there and prayed separately. There was no one there. I prayed a rosary facing the Pope's apartment, at times glancing over to St. Peter's Basilica. I still don't understand, but during that time I felt peace and no fear. I was filled with Hope and confidence. I trust and love the Holy Spirit. I trust and love the Church. I trust and love Pope Benedict XVI.
Though I feel sadness and still don't understand, I realized: here I am with my greatest opportunity to be in solidarity with the Pope, the reason I was sent here. So I will offer up my studies and labors for the Pope and the Church. I will pray. I will be silent. I will look for what God has for us in all this. O God, that you entrust such times to us!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Pilgrimage to the Holy Land - day 13
3 January 2013 - 1st Thursday, coming home
Calvary -
down to Calvary by 4:30, just trying to be quiet. Encounter, intimacy with a person, not a place. Watched groups come up to pray, venerate Calvary, celebrate Mass. Praying for all priests on this 1st Thursday, all those who asked for special prayers at Calvary. Got to bless Ron and Patti Vasek, Fr. Craig Vasek, Elizabeth and Jillian last night - people calling my priesthood out of me.
Upper Room -
This is the place where 4 of the 7 Sacraments were instituted: Reconciliation, Confirmation, Eucharist and Priesthood. We have a couple hours until 10:30am Mass and 11:30am departure so I'm spending my time here, praying a rosary. Prayed for priests and those who asked for special prayers here.
Intentions - prayed for intentions here today, that all might know the forgiveness of their sins, be renewed in the strength of their Confirmation, be blessed with holy priests, and find Hope in the Eucharist.
On the plane and on our way home, reading Unbroken again, an analogy for priestly zeal.
Thus ends my priestly pilgrimage to the Holy Land, thank you for coming with me!
Taking pictures is not my best attribute. It pulls me out of the moment and so I don't really take many photos. However, there are some guys who do. Here are Deacon David's pictures that he generously shared with anyone who might wish to have a more visual accounting of our time in the Holy Land. Enjoy!
Set 1 (209 photos) - http://flickr.com/gp/desquiliano/3bN910/
Set 2 (280 photos) - http://flickr.com/gp/desquiliano/5xk5cp/
Set 3 (210 photos) - http://flickr.com/gp/desquiliano/W5NUy8/
Set 4 (273 photos) - http://flickr.com/gp/desquiliano/1d888e/
Set 5 (55 photos) - http://flickr.com/gp/desquiliano/3CW34P/
Calvary -
down to Calvary by 4:30, just trying to be quiet. Encounter, intimacy with a person, not a place. Watched groups come up to pray, venerate Calvary, celebrate Mass. Praying for all priests on this 1st Thursday, all those who asked for special prayers at Calvary. Got to bless Ron and Patti Vasek, Fr. Craig Vasek, Elizabeth and Jillian last night - people calling my priesthood out of me.
Upper Room -
This is the place where 4 of the 7 Sacraments were instituted: Reconciliation, Confirmation, Eucharist and Priesthood. We have a couple hours until 10:30am Mass and 11:30am departure so I'm spending my time here, praying a rosary. Prayed for priests and those who asked for special prayers here.
Intentions - prayed for intentions here today, that all might know the forgiveness of their sins, be renewed in the strength of their Confirmation, be blessed with holy priests, and find Hope in the Eucharist.
On the plane and on our way home, reading Unbroken again, an analogy for priestly zeal.
Thus ends my priestly pilgrimage to the Holy Land, thank you for coming with me!
Taking pictures is not my best attribute. It pulls me out of the moment and so I don't really take many photos. However, there are some guys who do. Here are Deacon David's pictures that he generously shared with anyone who might wish to have a more visual accounting of our time in the Holy Land. Enjoy!
Set 1 (209 photos) - http://flickr.com/gp/desquiliano/3bN910/
Set 2 (280 photos) - http://flickr.com/gp/desquiliano/5xk5cp/
Set 3 (210 photos) - http://flickr.com/gp/desquiliano/W5NUy8/
Set 4 (273 photos) - http://flickr.com/gp/desquiliano/1d888e/
Set 5 (55 photos) - http://flickr.com/gp/desquiliano/3CW34P/
Friday, January 25, 2013
Pilgrimage to the Holy Land - day 12
2 January 2013
Calvary -
Fr. Keith Romke and I happened to show up at the same time to pray at Calvary and we had the special opportunity to celebrate Mass there together with Deacon Doke assisting. There I offered Mass for Kevin and Lisa Mangers family, Bryce and Angel Herman Family, and Keith and Steph Blair family. The homily is below:
The Blood of Christ: the sign of His total self-giving love. Let us pray for the grace to give all our love to Him.
Ein Karim -
This is where Mary visited Elizabeth. Mary proclaims her Magnificat here, full of wonder and gratitude at what the Lord is doing in her. John the Baptist was born here and Zechariah offers his Benedictus - his first words since hearing he would have a son, an "impossible" act of God. There is a striking image here of the soldiers slaughtering the Holy Innocents.
Bethlehem -
Fr. Hurley gave me a great gift today. Here, during my first Christmas as a priest, he is giving me the privilege of offering the Mass of the Nativity at the place where the Nativity took place. This is also a particularly moving place because we will be in the cell of St. Jerome who settled down here and translated the Scriptures here, letting the Incarnation affect his whole life. On December 8th 2012, my spiritual director at Mt. Angel, Fr. Jerome Young OSB died. It was a tough loss to lose someone who knew my soul so well. There are lots of things that I could talk with to him that no one else seemed to get. Heaven's gain, my loss. Here, I offer my Mass intention for the repose of his soul, the best give a spiritual son can offer to his father. Homily below:
St. Jerome let the mystery of this place penetrate his life. In the Incarnation he saw the ordinariness of God made flesh; listened to the silence of the God who speaks divine words in human language. Perhaps the vulgate (translating the scriptures into the "common" tongue) is the result of him soaking up the grace of this place.
What a pity it would be if we didn't follow his example and be influenced by the places we've been:
-At Peter's primacy we saw Jesus appear in the Eucharist where Jesus appeared to Peter.
-At the Mount of Beatitudes we listened to the Sermon on the Mount, on the Mount where Jesus gave that Sermon.
-In Capernaum we received the Body and Blood of Christ where Christ told us His Flesh and Blood are true food and drink.
-At the Jordan River we renewed our Baptismal promises where Jesus sanctified the waters of Baptism.
-We walked up Mount Tabor and talked with one another where Peter James and John walked with Jesus and saw Him talk with Moses and Elijah and hopefully took a moment of silence to pray just as they heard the Father's voice "Listen to Him".
-At Gethsemane we knelt an hour in prayer where Jesus asked us to keep watch with Him.
-At Calvary the Sacrifice of the Mass was re-presented where Jesus consummated His Sacrifice.
-In the Tomb, we celebrated the Resurrection where the Resurrection took place.
And now we are in Bethlehem; what is the grace of this place? Desire.
Desire comes from the latin, "de sidera" "from the stars". We perceive something beyond us, that touches us and awakens a desire in us. It is at first a passive movement- we are stirred; an affective union takes place - not just sentiment, but a genuine affective union develops in our heart that orients and propels us to desire a real union with that which attracted us. This desire of ours is preceded by something else, something real. It is love that precedes desire. The star that appeared above this place so long ago marked the love of God come into the world. The presence of the one who loves us dwelt among us, His beloved, and a desire for real union with Him awakens within us. Just like the Kings, just like the shepherds, we come here to discover what this might mean.
Here, the Light of Christ has come into the world. The Light of Christ purifies and transforms our desires, so that we might see things as they really are, and desire not just something that gives us pleasure, but desire that real union that brings eternal happiness.
Almost imperceptibly He comes into our world, virtually unnoticed. Pause, take a moment to attend to what is stirring in you, permit Him to be your desire and soak in the grace of this place.
Intentions - I prayed for intentions here, that our desires might be transformed, that we might long watchfully and attentively for the grace You wish to give us.
Do not dash through, soak it in. Don't cling to the place but let it penetrate you. A priest is humble in His coming, almost imperceptible, becoming part of the place he entrusts himself to.
Manger -
They were cleaning today and the manger was closed, but after I offered my thanksgiving following Mass I ran into Horn and he showed me a way in; I walked right down to the manger and let this place penetrate me. What is the desire You want to grow in me? The Holy Family was here, the shepherd's, the wise men, in silence Mary pondered all that was said. Thank You. Desire for You; not any thing, but You. Prayed an angelus with Bulso.
Milk Grotto -
a place, a quiet place, where many prayers for conception have been answered. Prayed particularly for those who are trying to conceive, those who have had miscarriages, and those who have children about to be born. Tried to find the shepherd's field with Kuharski but no success. Back to the bus.
Calvary -
It was noisy and busy here today. I tried just to be here and present - tough.
Grace sharing -
Our NAC custom is for each person to share a grace that he received during a retreat, and this is no exception. It is good to share with others the graces given to us, the graces we received. Obviously this is a private affair, a "you had to be there" to get it type of thing, but I share a few anonymous statements the guys shared that struck me.
"I realized I don't have to be at Calvary to celebrate it. In the Mass I'm at all these places, I don't have to be attached to a place or be at a place to experience Christ".
"The beauty of simple devotion of others".
"I realized Christ came not to sanctify places but people".
"The places became personal - Christ had my life in mind when He did these things".
"He's not asking for much, just for me to give Him some time".
"Christ calls me not for what I can give, but because He loves me".
"The graces are different than I expected".
"The ordinariness of Galilee made it so real".
"Gaining the same vantage point of Christ, not intellectually but allowing myself to let the Lord love me".
"The Lord calls us to Faith".
"Its not what I want from you, but what I want for you".
Graces are not an all at once type of thing, they develop over time.
Calvary -
Fr. Keith Romke and I happened to show up at the same time to pray at Calvary and we had the special opportunity to celebrate Mass there together with Deacon Doke assisting. There I offered Mass for Kevin and Lisa Mangers family, Bryce and Angel Herman Family, and Keith and Steph Blair family. The homily is below:
The Blood of Christ: the sign of His total self-giving love. Let us pray for the grace to give all our love to Him.
Ein Karim -
This is where Mary visited Elizabeth. Mary proclaims her Magnificat here, full of wonder and gratitude at what the Lord is doing in her. John the Baptist was born here and Zechariah offers his Benedictus - his first words since hearing he would have a son, an "impossible" act of God. There is a striking image here of the soldiers slaughtering the Holy Innocents.
Bethlehem -
Fr. Hurley gave me a great gift today. Here, during my first Christmas as a priest, he is giving me the privilege of offering the Mass of the Nativity at the place where the Nativity took place. This is also a particularly moving place because we will be in the cell of St. Jerome who settled down here and translated the Scriptures here, letting the Incarnation affect his whole life. On December 8th 2012, my spiritual director at Mt. Angel, Fr. Jerome Young OSB died. It was a tough loss to lose someone who knew my soul so well. There are lots of things that I could talk with to him that no one else seemed to get. Heaven's gain, my loss. Here, I offer my Mass intention for the repose of his soul, the best give a spiritual son can offer to his father. Homily below:
St. Jerome let the mystery of this place penetrate his life. In the Incarnation he saw the ordinariness of God made flesh; listened to the silence of the God who speaks divine words in human language. Perhaps the vulgate (translating the scriptures into the "common" tongue) is the result of him soaking up the grace of this place.
What a pity it would be if we didn't follow his example and be influenced by the places we've been:
-At Peter's primacy we saw Jesus appear in the Eucharist where Jesus appeared to Peter.
-At the Mount of Beatitudes we listened to the Sermon on the Mount, on the Mount where Jesus gave that Sermon.
-In Capernaum we received the Body and Blood of Christ where Christ told us His Flesh and Blood are true food and drink.
-At the Jordan River we renewed our Baptismal promises where Jesus sanctified the waters of Baptism.
-We walked up Mount Tabor and talked with one another where Peter James and John walked with Jesus and saw Him talk with Moses and Elijah and hopefully took a moment of silence to pray just as they heard the Father's voice "Listen to Him".
-At Gethsemane we knelt an hour in prayer where Jesus asked us to keep watch with Him.
-At Calvary the Sacrifice of the Mass was re-presented where Jesus consummated His Sacrifice.
-In the Tomb, we celebrated the Resurrection where the Resurrection took place.
And now we are in Bethlehem; what is the grace of this place? Desire.
Desire comes from the latin, "de sidera" "from the stars". We perceive something beyond us, that touches us and awakens a desire in us. It is at first a passive movement- we are stirred; an affective union takes place - not just sentiment, but a genuine affective union develops in our heart that orients and propels us to desire a real union with that which attracted us. This desire of ours is preceded by something else, something real. It is love that precedes desire. The star that appeared above this place so long ago marked the love of God come into the world. The presence of the one who loves us dwelt among us, His beloved, and a desire for real union with Him awakens within us. Just like the Kings, just like the shepherds, we come here to discover what this might mean.
Here, the Light of Christ has come into the world. The Light of Christ purifies and transforms our desires, so that we might see things as they really are, and desire not just something that gives us pleasure, but desire that real union that brings eternal happiness.
Almost imperceptibly He comes into our world, virtually unnoticed. Pause, take a moment to attend to what is stirring in you, permit Him to be your desire and soak in the grace of this place.
Intentions - I prayed for intentions here, that our desires might be transformed, that we might long watchfully and attentively for the grace You wish to give us.
Do not dash through, soak it in. Don't cling to the place but let it penetrate you. A priest is humble in His coming, almost imperceptible, becoming part of the place he entrusts himself to.
Manger -
They were cleaning today and the manger was closed, but after I offered my thanksgiving following Mass I ran into Horn and he showed me a way in; I walked right down to the manger and let this place penetrate me. What is the desire You want to grow in me? The Holy Family was here, the shepherd's, the wise men, in silence Mary pondered all that was said. Thank You. Desire for You; not any thing, but You. Prayed an angelus with Bulso.
Milk Grotto -
a place, a quiet place, where many prayers for conception have been answered. Prayed particularly for those who are trying to conceive, those who have had miscarriages, and those who have children about to be born. Tried to find the shepherd's field with Kuharski but no success. Back to the bus.
Calvary -
It was noisy and busy here today. I tried just to be here and present - tough.
Grace sharing -
Our NAC custom is for each person to share a grace that he received during a retreat, and this is no exception. It is good to share with others the graces given to us, the graces we received. Obviously this is a private affair, a "you had to be there" to get it type of thing, but I share a few anonymous statements the guys shared that struck me.
"I realized I don't have to be at Calvary to celebrate it. In the Mass I'm at all these places, I don't have to be attached to a place or be at a place to experience Christ".
"The beauty of simple devotion of others".
"I realized Christ came not to sanctify places but people".
"The places became personal - Christ had my life in mind when He did these things".
"He's not asking for much, just for me to give Him some time".
"Christ calls me not for what I can give, but because He loves me".
"The graces are different than I expected".
"The ordinariness of Galilee made it so real".
"Gaining the same vantage point of Christ, not intellectually but allowing myself to let the Lord love me".
"The Lord calls us to Faith".
"Its not what I want from you, but what I want for you".
Graces are not an all at once type of thing, they develop over time.
 |
| Ein Karim, the church of the Visitation where Mary prayed the Magnificat |
 |
| The door into the Church of the Nativity, Bethlehem |
 |
| Bethlehem - The Milk Grotto |
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Pilgrimage to the Holy Land - day 11
1 January 2013 - Mary Mother of God
I woke up and looked at my alarm: 3:55. In order not to wake up my roommate, Deacon Mark, I thought I'd turn off my alarm and get up 5 min early. As I left the hotel to go down to the Holy Sepulcher there were people all around and fireworks were going off. Man, some party, 4 hours of fireworks is a long time. Glad I slept through them all night in the hotel - good windows make a huge difference! Seeing people all over the place makes me feel odd, at this hour its usually just me. So I look at my watch: 12:30. 12:30? Stupid watch dying on me. So I ask a guy nearby, what time do you have? 12:30. How in the...I am an idiot. My alarm did not say 3:55, but 23:55. My clock is on 24 hr time. I have to laugh at myself. But, as providence would have it, this particular night the Holy Sepulcher is open all night long due to an Orthodox feast - perhaps the only time I could ever have the opportunity to have somewhere to go at this hour, so You have me now Lord, do with me whatever You will. Happy New Year!
Calvary -
After an hour and a half of just sitting there trying to be present and attentive to receiving whatever You wish to give me - I believe You have some good in this silly error of mine, I started to get sleepy. Prayed all the mysteries of the rosary with Tuckerman and Kuhlman, reflecting on Your life, death and resurrection. I find it difficult to pray, Lord, accept my humble offering. Stir up the intensity of my love O Holy Spirit.
Intentions - I prayed for intentions here today, for Your will to be done in our lives, that we would abandon ourselves to Your will.
Jesus, I believe in You. Help me not to be afraid of Your silence. Open my ears that I may hear. It is chilly now and I am cold. I need to move around. I go down to the Armenian chapel, it is warmer there and I can move around since no one is there - except a cat. Morning prayer. Prayed in the Franciscan chapel, reflecting on the Light of Christ. A kind Franciscan helped me to set the missal early and pray in the sacristy before a painting of Mary Magdelene meeting Jesus (my patroness for this pilgrimage); sorrowful and not fully understanding she makes an act of love by going to the Tomb that morning - and encounters the Risen Christ, her Living Lord.
Tomb -
I am ridiculously blessed. I get to celebrate Mass in the Tomb again. My Mass intentions for today are for Aaron Rose and the conversion of my family. Fr. Hurley, Fr. Gaffney, Deacon Mark, Tuckerman, Kuhlman, Deacon Doke, and 3 other pilgrims came to Mass as we celebrate the Solemnity of Mary Mother of God. Thank You for loving me. I love You. Peace and joy to pray the Mass, especially in this place. Mary my mother, teach me to ponder with you. Thank you Jesus for waking me up early. Thank You for Your silence. Mary Magdelene, pray that I too may encounter the grace of this place, to soak it in. Below is my homily in full:
Mary, when she saw the angel, responded with fear, wondering and acquiescence, and so became the Mother of God. The Light of Christ has come into the world. How might we see differently, who have encountered in the Light of Christ, our God who would not come down from the Cross to save Himself and Who leaves us with the silence of this empty Tomb.
Breakfast...mmm. Pray at Notre Dame reading John. Martha believed before she saw Lazarus rise. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. I believe that You are God, that You love me, that You can do all things. Come and see and believe; come to believe and see.
Franciscan Chapel -
we all gather together to pray here together. Fr. Hurley - If you are at a place on the verge of nothing exiting, then you are right where Jesus wishes you to be. John was at just another place, just another man except He was beloved. Have faith.
Wailing Wall -
prayed day prayer with Lebsock: Psalms at the Temple wall. Psalm 121 "Where shall my help come from...from the Lord". Psalm 122 "Within your gates O Jerusalem".
Peter in Gallicantu -
Where the prison cell of Jesus was. Read Psalm 88.
Cenaculum -
The upper Room of the Last Supper and Pentecost. Pausing to pray for intentions here, humbled by some of the requests and those that asked me to pray for myself here, especially that Mary might lead us all into deeper union with the Holy Spirit as she did with the Apostles on Pentecost.
Walked back with Tuckerman along the outside wall, now I'm toasted. I've been up for close to 36 hrs with only a 2 hr "nights sleep". I feel good though otherwise, praying for about 10 of the last 12 hours. Thank You for waking me up Jesus.
Notre Dame -
It would be tempting to start thinking about emails, exams, thesis, other places I get to go, people I get to see, other things I have to do, but I am here. What is more, I desire to be here now and not miss the grace of this place. Come Lord Jesus. What did I learn today? Priests need to keep vigil. They need to sit before the mystery in silence. The interior life is not negotiable and often Jesus will change our plans to be with us. And that is the way we must go, even when God is silent there.
Fr. Hurley - be attentive, give an ear to these "11th hour" graces (our pilgrimage is nearing its end).
I woke up and looked at my alarm: 3:55. In order not to wake up my roommate, Deacon Mark, I thought I'd turn off my alarm and get up 5 min early. As I left the hotel to go down to the Holy Sepulcher there were people all around and fireworks were going off. Man, some party, 4 hours of fireworks is a long time. Glad I slept through them all night in the hotel - good windows make a huge difference! Seeing people all over the place makes me feel odd, at this hour its usually just me. So I look at my watch: 12:30. 12:30? Stupid watch dying on me. So I ask a guy nearby, what time do you have? 12:30. How in the...I am an idiot. My alarm did not say 3:55, but 23:55. My clock is on 24 hr time. I have to laugh at myself. But, as providence would have it, this particular night the Holy Sepulcher is open all night long due to an Orthodox feast - perhaps the only time I could ever have the opportunity to have somewhere to go at this hour, so You have me now Lord, do with me whatever You will. Happy New Year!
Calvary -
After an hour and a half of just sitting there trying to be present and attentive to receiving whatever You wish to give me - I believe You have some good in this silly error of mine, I started to get sleepy. Prayed all the mysteries of the rosary with Tuckerman and Kuhlman, reflecting on Your life, death and resurrection. I find it difficult to pray, Lord, accept my humble offering. Stir up the intensity of my love O Holy Spirit.
Intentions - I prayed for intentions here today, for Your will to be done in our lives, that we would abandon ourselves to Your will.
Jesus, I believe in You. Help me not to be afraid of Your silence. Open my ears that I may hear. It is chilly now and I am cold. I need to move around. I go down to the Armenian chapel, it is warmer there and I can move around since no one is there - except a cat. Morning prayer. Prayed in the Franciscan chapel, reflecting on the Light of Christ. A kind Franciscan helped me to set the missal early and pray in the sacristy before a painting of Mary Magdelene meeting Jesus (my patroness for this pilgrimage); sorrowful and not fully understanding she makes an act of love by going to the Tomb that morning - and encounters the Risen Christ, her Living Lord.
Tomb -
I am ridiculously blessed. I get to celebrate Mass in the Tomb again. My Mass intentions for today are for Aaron Rose and the conversion of my family. Fr. Hurley, Fr. Gaffney, Deacon Mark, Tuckerman, Kuhlman, Deacon Doke, and 3 other pilgrims came to Mass as we celebrate the Solemnity of Mary Mother of God. Thank You for loving me. I love You. Peace and joy to pray the Mass, especially in this place. Mary my mother, teach me to ponder with you. Thank you Jesus for waking me up early. Thank You for Your silence. Mary Magdelene, pray that I too may encounter the grace of this place, to soak it in. Below is my homily in full:
Mary, when she saw the angel, responded with fear, wondering and acquiescence, and so became the Mother of God. The Light of Christ has come into the world. How might we see differently, who have encountered in the Light of Christ, our God who would not come down from the Cross to save Himself and Who leaves us with the silence of this empty Tomb.
Breakfast...mmm. Pray at Notre Dame reading John. Martha believed before she saw Lazarus rise. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. I believe that You are God, that You love me, that You can do all things. Come and see and believe; come to believe and see.
Franciscan Chapel -
we all gather together to pray here together. Fr. Hurley - If you are at a place on the verge of nothing exiting, then you are right where Jesus wishes you to be. John was at just another place, just another man except He was beloved. Have faith.
Wailing Wall -
prayed day prayer with Lebsock: Psalms at the Temple wall. Psalm 121 "Where shall my help come from...from the Lord". Psalm 122 "Within your gates O Jerusalem".
Peter in Gallicantu -
Where the prison cell of Jesus was. Read Psalm 88.
Cenaculum -
The upper Room of the Last Supper and Pentecost. Pausing to pray for intentions here, humbled by some of the requests and those that asked me to pray for myself here, especially that Mary might lead us all into deeper union with the Holy Spirit as she did with the Apostles on Pentecost.
Walked back with Tuckerman along the outside wall, now I'm toasted. I've been up for close to 36 hrs with only a 2 hr "nights sleep". I feel good though otherwise, praying for about 10 of the last 12 hours. Thank You for waking me up Jesus.
Notre Dame -
It would be tempting to start thinking about emails, exams, thesis, other places I get to go, people I get to see, other things I have to do, but I am here. What is more, I desire to be here now and not miss the grace of this place. Come Lord Jesus. What did I learn today? Priests need to keep vigil. They need to sit before the mystery in silence. The interior life is not negotiable and often Jesus will change our plans to be with us. And that is the way we must go, even when God is silent there.
Fr. Hurley - be attentive, give an ear to these "11th hour" graces (our pilgrimage is nearing its end).
 |
| The square and entrance to the Holy Sepulcher |
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Pilgrimage to the Holy Land - day 10
31 December 2012 - New Year's Eve
Tomb -
up at 4am and out by 4:30 with Thai and Nelson. Morning prayer before the Tomb. I am rushing and I feel it. Need for more peaceful/recollected spirit. Took time to pray and make my Mass offering at the altar of Mary Magdelene where Jesus appeared to her.
Mass in the Tomb. Today I offered Mass for the Missionaries of Charity, and Msgr. Checchio and the NAC community. Palowicz, Nelson, Rodgers, Kuharski, Bulso, and a nun came. Here is my homily in full:
Do not be afraid of the silence of God.
Here in this empty Tomb, Jesus is not here. The greatest monument to our faith is that He is not here. We must not cling to this place, just like Mary Magdelene was told, but with a great act of faith realize that we now celebrate the Resurrection where the Resurrection happened.
Calvary -
Fr. Gaffney - "Perhaps the greatest lesson Jesus taught us, an act of pure love". It is not about what I get to do today but what You have done for me, what You are doing for me righ now. Thank You. Help us to receive/accept all that You pour out for us.
Stations -
We went to the church of the Flagellation and began to pray the stations as we walked along the via dolorosa. Just another place, but one I don't want to miss! Real felt need to slow down and recollect. Today is now all to ourselves - Thank You. This must be what parents and families feel like, always rushing around and no time to think. How to help them release in prayer, an opportunity for recollection, to notice Your presence in their life and enter into Your sacred mysteries and not just pass them by due to busyness of life. Don't give up on grace, Peter didn't.
Gethsemane -
crazy crowded with Italian pilgrims. Tried to get into the cave where the apostles stayed but there was Mass going on there too. Finally found a quiet place nearby where Mary was buried - she who always followed and trusted in the Lord, lead us to deeper union with Him! As I began to read Mark my quiet place got crowded and noisy. Jesus was always slipping off to Bethany, a quieter place with Lazarus, Mary and Martha - I understand why. Jerusalem is chaos. Snuck back into the cave at Gethsemane for a moment of quiet with the Blessed Sacrament, but the sacristan and some people were yelling trying to communicate. I helped translate, then it was quiet for a moment before another Mass came in and I had to leave. Back to the garden of Gethsemane.
I prayed for intentions here today, that all in their struggles might find consolation in Christ. Asked for the grace of prayer. No matter what I do or where I go I cannot find a quiet place to pray and reflect. I am scattered and constantly interrupted, talked around, bumped, displaced. Perhaps this is my lesson today: to give up my schedule, to let my hopes and desires, my ministry be shaped by those around me. These people are all pilgrims, though some are much more tourists, maybe here only once in their lives for 5 min. I am fortunate enough to have the time and the desire to pray longer. That is what life is like, people always around with different attitudes and dispositions, all needing You. Do not let me be a deterrent to them by my attitude, do not let me make them into an obstacle in listening/seeing You. Non mea sed Tua volunta. Crush my pride and open my heart and mind to accept Your silence. To be at peace with giving up my own way. To focus on You, give my attention to You in the chaos of life's challenges, busyness and distractions. To think of You, to think of others, not myself. To love humility. To be content in suffering. To be in love with You.
Prayer and love cannot be rushed. In a moment they can flood the depths of your heart and enflame your soul, but they will not be pressed into a moment.
Just as I was coming to grips with chaos, Gethsemane kicked me out. I wander about and stumble into the Armenian church at the 3rd and 4th stations - a place devoted to silence.
Adoration -
down below the main church is a crypt where they have perpetual adoration. It is quiet and still. Teach me to ponder the mysteries of our Lord; the mysteries I have encountered and celebrated today. In the midst of the chaos of the carrying of the Cross Mary found Jesus and she looked at Him face to face. For the space of a moment they encounter one another. Now I have this same opportunity to see Jesus face to face. O Jesus, let us encounter/discover Your love.
How you encountered people: "Jesus, looking at him, loved him..." (Mark 9).
Jesus came to Jerusalem to die. He taught about a time of reckoning in Jerusalem, that we must give an account. Judas betrayed; scribes, pharisees, herodians set up trecharies; Peter denied; the Twelve did not believe Mary Magdelene. Finished Matthew and Mark.
Notre Dame -
Began reading John. Much different than Matthew and Mark. "Come" "Believe". The way Jesus interacts, He's always speaking about deeper things. Speaks to the hidden hopes of their hearts. Fr. Keith Romke shows up here, Fr. Craig Vasek too - what a grace to meet them here unexpectedly. Fr. Lockey is here too (Illinois, Minnesota, and now Texas have shown up in the Holy Land. Ridiculous). To be interested in another, to make them feel wanted, to want to be around them. This is what I encounter in these priests, this is what Jesus is doing in John.
Fr. Hurley - there is a temptation to pull back from prayer, from entering into prayer. Especially meditate on the Empty Tomb. Wrestle with what it would be like after Good Friday. Temptations from the desert to temptations on the Cross - come down, save Yourself and us. We are tempted to grasp for ourself or we are going to get screwed over. Disciples wrestle with what they expect the Messiah to look like and what happens to Jesus.
Tomb -
up at 4am and out by 4:30 with Thai and Nelson. Morning prayer before the Tomb. I am rushing and I feel it. Need for more peaceful/recollected spirit. Took time to pray and make my Mass offering at the altar of Mary Magdelene where Jesus appeared to her.
Mass in the Tomb. Today I offered Mass for the Missionaries of Charity, and Msgr. Checchio and the NAC community. Palowicz, Nelson, Rodgers, Kuharski, Bulso, and a nun came. Here is my homily in full:
Do not be afraid of the silence of God.
Here in this empty Tomb, Jesus is not here. The greatest monument to our faith is that He is not here. We must not cling to this place, just like Mary Magdelene was told, but with a great act of faith realize that we now celebrate the Resurrection where the Resurrection happened.
Calvary -
Fr. Gaffney - "Perhaps the greatest lesson Jesus taught us, an act of pure love". It is not about what I get to do today but what You have done for me, what You are doing for me righ now. Thank You. Help us to receive/accept all that You pour out for us.
Stations -
We went to the church of the Flagellation and began to pray the stations as we walked along the via dolorosa. Just another place, but one I don't want to miss! Real felt need to slow down and recollect. Today is now all to ourselves - Thank You. This must be what parents and families feel like, always rushing around and no time to think. How to help them release in prayer, an opportunity for recollection, to notice Your presence in their life and enter into Your sacred mysteries and not just pass them by due to busyness of life. Don't give up on grace, Peter didn't.
Gethsemane -
crazy crowded with Italian pilgrims. Tried to get into the cave where the apostles stayed but there was Mass going on there too. Finally found a quiet place nearby where Mary was buried - she who always followed and trusted in the Lord, lead us to deeper union with Him! As I began to read Mark my quiet place got crowded and noisy. Jesus was always slipping off to Bethany, a quieter place with Lazarus, Mary and Martha - I understand why. Jerusalem is chaos. Snuck back into the cave at Gethsemane for a moment of quiet with the Blessed Sacrament, but the sacristan and some people were yelling trying to communicate. I helped translate, then it was quiet for a moment before another Mass came in and I had to leave. Back to the garden of Gethsemane.
I prayed for intentions here today, that all in their struggles might find consolation in Christ. Asked for the grace of prayer. No matter what I do or where I go I cannot find a quiet place to pray and reflect. I am scattered and constantly interrupted, talked around, bumped, displaced. Perhaps this is my lesson today: to give up my schedule, to let my hopes and desires, my ministry be shaped by those around me. These people are all pilgrims, though some are much more tourists, maybe here only once in their lives for 5 min. I am fortunate enough to have the time and the desire to pray longer. That is what life is like, people always around with different attitudes and dispositions, all needing You. Do not let me be a deterrent to them by my attitude, do not let me make them into an obstacle in listening/seeing You. Non mea sed Tua volunta. Crush my pride and open my heart and mind to accept Your silence. To be at peace with giving up my own way. To focus on You, give my attention to You in the chaos of life's challenges, busyness and distractions. To think of You, to think of others, not myself. To love humility. To be content in suffering. To be in love with You.
Prayer and love cannot be rushed. In a moment they can flood the depths of your heart and enflame your soul, but they will not be pressed into a moment.
Just as I was coming to grips with chaos, Gethsemane kicked me out. I wander about and stumble into the Armenian church at the 3rd and 4th stations - a place devoted to silence.
Adoration -
down below the main church is a crypt where they have perpetual adoration. It is quiet and still. Teach me to ponder the mysteries of our Lord; the mysteries I have encountered and celebrated today. In the midst of the chaos of the carrying of the Cross Mary found Jesus and she looked at Him face to face. For the space of a moment they encounter one another. Now I have this same opportunity to see Jesus face to face. O Jesus, let us encounter/discover Your love.
How you encountered people: "Jesus, looking at him, loved him..." (Mark 9).
Jesus came to Jerusalem to die. He taught about a time of reckoning in Jerusalem, that we must give an account. Judas betrayed; scribes, pharisees, herodians set up trecharies; Peter denied; the Twelve did not believe Mary Magdelene. Finished Matthew and Mark.
Notre Dame -
Began reading John. Much different than Matthew and Mark. "Come" "Believe". The way Jesus interacts, He's always speaking about deeper things. Speaks to the hidden hopes of their hearts. Fr. Keith Romke shows up here, Fr. Craig Vasek too - what a grace to meet them here unexpectedly. Fr. Lockey is here too (Illinois, Minnesota, and now Texas have shown up in the Holy Land. Ridiculous). To be interested in another, to make them feel wanted, to want to be around them. This is what I encounter in these priests, this is what Jesus is doing in John.
Fr. Hurley - there is a temptation to pull back from prayer, from entering into prayer. Especially meditate on the Empty Tomb. Wrestle with what it would be like after Good Friday. Temptations from the desert to temptations on the Cross - come down, save Yourself and us. We are tempted to grasp for ourself or we are going to get screwed over. Disciples wrestle with what they expect the Messiah to look like and what happens to Jesus.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Pilgrimage to the Holy Land - day 9
30 December 2012 - Holy Family
Up at 4am and out by 4:30 to go to the Holy Sepulcher with Luxama, Keating, and Thai. Morning Prayer before the tomb.
Calvary -
One of the ridiculous things about being a priest is the possibility to celebrate Mass, and it just so happened that I was able to reserve special altars in Jerusalem for Mass with a few people. Today, I get to celebrate the Mass of the Holy Family at Calvary with the guys listed above and a few other people that were there, including a few Missionaries of Charity. I offered Mass today for Mom on her birthday. Sense of gratitude and peace. At most of these places one is allotted only 1/2 hr for Mass so everything has to be concise, but it was still prayerful. Here is the whole of my homily:
The Family is the dwelling place of love.
"The family is the privileged setting where every person learns to give and receive love" (Benedict XVI). Let us learn from the Holy Family: Mary, always pondering on the great mysteries of Christ's life; Joseph, there is no record of any words he ever spoke, but only his acts, decisive acts of Faith; and Jesus, who opened not His mouth as He was led to be crucified. Let us be mindful of where we are. We are at Calvary. The consummation of love happened here.
Breakfast and prayer in the chapel at Notre Dame. Looking forward to some quiet time today. Thank You for looking out for me. I need quiet today. Like You, I want to set my face toward Jerusalem, to soak in the priestly significance of this place; to hear the Gospels anew, to think about Judas and my own betrayal and silence.
Dormition Abbey -
We got to pray with the Monks here in German. After prayer they invited us to coffee and social - very nice and kind of them, but I don't drink coffee or speak German, and I just want to go away by myself and pray. I feel like my day is being taken away and wasted. Every extra instruction/needless delay perturbs me. I am less than charitable. Down in the crypt I remember Fr. Quan's lesson "Make my Magnificat yours". Lord Jesus, fill me, that I might also give Your love to others and not my leftovers, my own sentiments, or seek to win their love or take from them. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done. I can tell it will be easy for me to be sharp, critical, to complain, to do things to make myself feel good or right today. Lord, help me not to fear such a light Cross.
Once we were finally free I went back to Dormition Abbey and found the Blessed Sacrament tucked away in the crypt and prayed, reading Matthew. I prayed for intentions here today, that Mary would intercede for them all since I am not praying well. Here is a place of trust, that even when death came she placed herself in Your hands and You preserved her from corruption.
Notre Dame -
After a quick look at the Last Supper Room and Peter in Gallicantu I came back for a nap. I could go back out, but Jerusalem is all chaos, new stimulus and noise and I crave reflection reflection time. So I stay here to pray before the Blessed Sacrament. I owe prayers for people at Gethsemane, Caiaphas' well, and the upper room.
Adoration -
The fidelity of Jesus - He did not come down from the Cross. "Behold I am with you always, even till the end of the age". Does Jesus love me? Know His love by His faithful presence, His promise of the Eucharist. A priest must not be afraid of silence, especially the silence of God. A priest must be humble, accept humble sufferings, that should he deny Christ as Peter did, he will permit Jesus' love for him, that he will accept again Jesus' faithful love and not deny it. My prayer from the primacy of Peter is answered: How was Peter so confidently able to say "Lord You know I love You?" He had no doubt in Jesus' love for him. Convinced by Jesus faithful love for him on Calvary, he was unafraid to run to that love. Not confidence in himself but confidence in Jesus' love.
Up at 4am and out by 4:30 to go to the Holy Sepulcher with Luxama, Keating, and Thai. Morning Prayer before the tomb.
Calvary -
One of the ridiculous things about being a priest is the possibility to celebrate Mass, and it just so happened that I was able to reserve special altars in Jerusalem for Mass with a few people. Today, I get to celebrate the Mass of the Holy Family at Calvary with the guys listed above and a few other people that were there, including a few Missionaries of Charity. I offered Mass today for Mom on her birthday. Sense of gratitude and peace. At most of these places one is allotted only 1/2 hr for Mass so everything has to be concise, but it was still prayerful. Here is the whole of my homily:
The Family is the dwelling place of love.
"The family is the privileged setting where every person learns to give and receive love" (Benedict XVI). Let us learn from the Holy Family: Mary, always pondering on the great mysteries of Christ's life; Joseph, there is no record of any words he ever spoke, but only his acts, decisive acts of Faith; and Jesus, who opened not His mouth as He was led to be crucified. Let us be mindful of where we are. We are at Calvary. The consummation of love happened here.
Breakfast and prayer in the chapel at Notre Dame. Looking forward to some quiet time today. Thank You for looking out for me. I need quiet today. Like You, I want to set my face toward Jerusalem, to soak in the priestly significance of this place; to hear the Gospels anew, to think about Judas and my own betrayal and silence.
Dormition Abbey -
We got to pray with the Monks here in German. After prayer they invited us to coffee and social - very nice and kind of them, but I don't drink coffee or speak German, and I just want to go away by myself and pray. I feel like my day is being taken away and wasted. Every extra instruction/needless delay perturbs me. I am less than charitable. Down in the crypt I remember Fr. Quan's lesson "Make my Magnificat yours". Lord Jesus, fill me, that I might also give Your love to others and not my leftovers, my own sentiments, or seek to win their love or take from them. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done. I can tell it will be easy for me to be sharp, critical, to complain, to do things to make myself feel good or right today. Lord, help me not to fear such a light Cross.
Once we were finally free I went back to Dormition Abbey and found the Blessed Sacrament tucked away in the crypt and prayed, reading Matthew. I prayed for intentions here today, that Mary would intercede for them all since I am not praying well. Here is a place of trust, that even when death came she placed herself in Your hands and You preserved her from corruption.
Notre Dame -
After a quick look at the Last Supper Room and Peter in Gallicantu I came back for a nap. I could go back out, but Jerusalem is all chaos, new stimulus and noise and I crave reflection reflection time. So I stay here to pray before the Blessed Sacrament. I owe prayers for people at Gethsemane, Caiaphas' well, and the upper room.
Adoration -
The fidelity of Jesus - He did not come down from the Cross. "Behold I am with you always, even till the end of the age". Does Jesus love me? Know His love by His faithful presence, His promise of the Eucharist. A priest must not be afraid of silence, especially the silence of God. A priest must be humble, accept humble sufferings, that should he deny Christ as Peter did, he will permit Jesus' love for him, that he will accept again Jesus' faithful love and not deny it. My prayer from the primacy of Peter is answered: How was Peter so confidently able to say "Lord You know I love You?" He had no doubt in Jesus' love for him. Convinced by Jesus faithful love for him on Calvary, he was unafraid to run to that love. Not confidence in himself but confidence in Jesus' love.
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| The Beautiful Nativity Scene on the Feast of the Holy Family at Dormition Abbey. I am struck by good wood carvings. |
Monday, January 21, 2013
Pilgrimage to the Holy Land - day 8
29 December 2012
Holy Sepulcher -
Deacon Bentz and I woke up early and went down the the Holy Sepulcher before breakfast. We got to go right into the Tomb by ourselves for a few moments, then spend a quiet hour at Calvary. Lord Jesus, open my heart to whatever You wish. Today will be busy.
Gethsemane -
Mass, which I offered for my friend Fr. Rich Mastrogiacomo. The first place we go in Jerusalem is Gethsemane, a place associated with Jesus' suffering and the silence of God, the silence of God right where we most need Him. Don't be afraid to enter into the silence of God, it was not one of frustration for Jesus, but ultimately confirming His mission, what the Father was asking of Him (Fr. Hurley's homily).
Ascension -
Jesus has eyes only for the Father. I believe Lord, help my unbelief. This was the last place St. Ignatius visited before being kicked out of the Holy Land.
Dominus Flevit -
Prayed for intentions here today, particularly remembering those who have lost children. As I was praying I realized that I too must weep with Jesus. For all those who turn away, who don't know Jesus' love, for all those in trial and suffering.
St. Stephen -
Praying in the place where St. Stephen was martyred. Remembering Noel, Kruse, Markman, and Verona when we tried to get to this spot a few years ago together. Remembering Mandy and my first reach team, and all the Stephens I know: dad, Fr. Steve, McDonough, Beyer, Kosiewicz, Prisk. We are flying today, tough for me to recollect with so much input.
St. Anne's church -
On the via dolorosa, where the leper was cleansed. weary, lots of running, unrecollected, crazy. I am tired and scattered. Lunch with Luxama, Keating, and Bentz.
Gethsemane at Night -
at 8:30pm we were let into the dark of the Garden of Gethsemane for an hour of prayer: Non Mea sed Tua volunta. This is where Peter, James, and John could not stay awake. This is where Jesus said "pray that you might not undergo the test. This is where Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss. I too, when I am tired and overfed am less attentive, responsive and focused. Benediction in the garden, singing Ubi Caritas - beautiful.
Holy Sepulcher -
Deacon Bentz and I woke up early and went down the the Holy Sepulcher before breakfast. We got to go right into the Tomb by ourselves for a few moments, then spend a quiet hour at Calvary. Lord Jesus, open my heart to whatever You wish. Today will be busy.
Gethsemane -
Mass, which I offered for my friend Fr. Rich Mastrogiacomo. The first place we go in Jerusalem is Gethsemane, a place associated with Jesus' suffering and the silence of God, the silence of God right where we most need Him. Don't be afraid to enter into the silence of God, it was not one of frustration for Jesus, but ultimately confirming His mission, what the Father was asking of Him (Fr. Hurley's homily).
Ascension -
Jesus has eyes only for the Father. I believe Lord, help my unbelief. This was the last place St. Ignatius visited before being kicked out of the Holy Land.
Dominus Flevit -
Prayed for intentions here today, particularly remembering those who have lost children. As I was praying I realized that I too must weep with Jesus. For all those who turn away, who don't know Jesus' love, for all those in trial and suffering.
St. Stephen -
Praying in the place where St. Stephen was martyred. Remembering Noel, Kruse, Markman, and Verona when we tried to get to this spot a few years ago together. Remembering Mandy and my first reach team, and all the Stephens I know: dad, Fr. Steve, McDonough, Beyer, Kosiewicz, Prisk. We are flying today, tough for me to recollect with so much input.
St. Anne's church -
On the via dolorosa, where the leper was cleansed. weary, lots of running, unrecollected, crazy. I am tired and scattered. Lunch with Luxama, Keating, and Bentz.
Gethsemane at Night -
at 8:30pm we were let into the dark of the Garden of Gethsemane for an hour of prayer: Non Mea sed Tua volunta. This is where Peter, James, and John could not stay awake. This is where Jesus said "pray that you might not undergo the test. This is where Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss. I too, when I am tired and overfed am less attentive, responsive and focused. Benediction in the garden, singing Ubi Caritas - beautiful.
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| monkeying around next to a 2,00 year old olive tree |
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| Gethsemane |
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| Looking at Jerusalem from Dominus Flevit |
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